


Something There

by nofeartina



Series: Fic posts archived from tumblr [9]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Episode 2:10, Introspection, M/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, and what did Even think that led him to that moment?, archiving from nofeartina-tumblr blog, based on a prompt, clip: Ikke vær frekk, what did Even really think while strutting across that school yard?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 14:23:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19725445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nofeartina/pseuds/nofeartina
Summary: Prompt by decraziness on Tumblr:"Another prompt idea: what went through even's head when he crossed the yard to that Radiohead song in ep 2, I think. Was he even aware that isak was watching him as he so dramatically pulled out his sunglasses?"Spoiler: he knew. ;)(Originally posted on Tumblr but moved for archiving)





	Something There

**Author's Note:**

  * For [decraziness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/decraziness/gifts).



> Another excellent prompt from decraziness, thank you! And this one turned into quite the introspective piece on Even, I hope you guys are into that. xD
> 
> A special thanks to the ever lovely Colazitron for looking this over. ❤
> 
> Enjoy! :)

It’s not like Even doesn’t know he shouldn’t be doing this.

He knows.

He _knows_ , okay?

He knows that Nissen is his second chance, he knows that his family and his girlfriend and his few remaining friends are relying on him to do better this time, to actually finish what he started. Now that he knows what he has, has a way to deal with it, he should be able to. That’s what they all tell him at least. “You can’t let this change the way you want to live your life.”

Yeah. Right.

It already has.

So he tries, makes friends, goes to classes, keeps up with the schoolwork, takes his pills and eats his food. Doesn’t go looking for distractions. 

Doesn’t mean distractions don’t find him, though.

He really doesn’t mean to, doesn’t want it to, but he knows it’s become a distraction. _He’s_ become a distraction. 

At first, it was just seeing _him_ in the schoolyard, talking to his friends, laughing. It was noticing the tilt of his nose, the curls of his hair, the uptick of his upper lip. It was noticing his long legs. It was a tingle in Even’s fingers to put him down on paper.

But Even powered through, forced his eyes away each time, managed to return his attention to whatever conversation he had going. 

That doesn’t mean his traitorous eyes don’t seek out the boy first thing whenever Even enters the cafeteria or is in the schoolyard. And soon he finds he can recognize the sound of his voice even from across the room. 

Somehow as days pass he gets less and less eager to ignore him. Or maybe finds it harder and harder to do. And it’s not like the guy ever really notices him back - he never looks in his direction, never accidentally bumps into him, never hangs out the places Even hangs out. 

So Even figures he’s safe. He can let himself have this distraction, let himself sit in the cafeteria so he can watch the guy, let himself create this dream scenario in his head where they end up talking. End up doing more than that, even, sometimes.

One time the guy ends up on the same tram as Even on their way home from school and Even is a sweating mess the entire way, worried that he’ll actually notice him sitting there. Worried that he won’t. 

And he knows that maybe, just maybe, this guy isn’t as safe anymore.

But he doesn’t really know anything about him, doesn’t know his name or where he lives or what class he’s in. Just knows that he’s real pretty and that he has the cutest laugh. So Even figures, that as long as the guy stays this phantom dreamboy, he’s still safe. 

–||–

His name is Isak.

His name is Isak and he’s in the second year. His name is Isak and he has a facebook and an instagram account and maybe Even has spent too much time scrolling through them.

He’s particularly fond of the videos.

It’s just… Isak seems like such a different person with his friends in those videos than he does when he’s out and about. Even watches him, watches how he doesn’t actually laugh that much, watches how he picks at his food and tunes out of conversations.

Even doesn’t worry but he does wonder.

Mentally adds layers to the phantom dreamboy Isak is in his thoughts. 

One that raps and deepthroats cola bottles and plays FIFA and skates.

But he’s still safe. Isak doesn’t know that he’s snooping, doesn’t even know Even exists. He hasn’t looked Even’s way even once, and for some reason, that just adds to it. It makes it easier for him to keep building him in his mind. As long as he doesn’t actively seek Isak out, he’s good.

–||–

At first, Even doesn’t even realize that he’s doing it. Doesn’t understand that he keeps placing himself in positions where it’s more and more likely Isak will notice him.

It’s how he seats himself in the cafeteria, it’s where he stands in the schoolyard. It’s which hallways he uses to get from one class to the next, brushing closer and closer by Isak when he sees him by the lockers.

Even doesn’t notice until he’s actively placing himself in ways that he knows will make him look good. Until one day, he’s spent half an hour in front of his wardrobe, half an hour doing his hair, half an hour picking out his jacket. Ends up being late for class.

Sitting there, in that class, trying to act like he’s paying attention which he’s definitely not, because he knows. He _knows_.

He’s fucked.

–||–

It turns into a game:

If Isak turns his head and looks at me now, I’ll go talk to him.

If Isak laughs in the next five seconds, I’ll say hi next time he’s on the tram with me.

Into:

If Isak joins kosegruppa, I’ll join kosegruppa.

–||–

Fuck.

–||–

His eyes are green and he’s now paired up with Even for kosegruppa.

Even still doesn’t quite know how he managed to get him to go outside with him, he still cringes when he thinks about what he did with the paper towels. And when he thinks about how many times he used the word dick. But somehow it worked.

He’d spent ages on his hair and his clothes, had almost as an afterthought put the joint in the pocket before he left home. And he’d given in to the impulse to follow Isak as soon as he’d noticed that he wasn’t there anymore.

He knew he looked his best and he wanted to push his luck, see if Isak really was as disinterested as he seemed.

He wasn’t.

Until Emma showed up.

He’s sure he has Isak’s attention now, even though he knows he shouldn’t want it. This isn’t keeping his head down, going through the motions and living up to everybody’s expectations of him. It’s really not. 

It’s probably the exact opposite of what they want him to do.

But he can’t stay away, can’t help pushing. It’s slowly turning into a compulsion, an itch he has to scratch, a scab he has to pick at, just because he can. Just because… sometimes it’s too much to keep doing what other people expect him to. Being what other people want him to be.

So he makes sure that he’s always looking his best, stages these moments where Isak might be watching, pretending it’s a movie where he’s the love interest and Isak is watching him from afar. 

He struts over the schoolyard, slumps over chairs, lounges on window sills, not looking for Isak but constantly alert of him.

Until one glorious sunny day Even is particular strutty, mentally playing ‘Eye of the tiger’ in his head as he heads over to his friends, only to turn his head and there. THERE. Isak is watching.

Full alert, sirens blazing, ‘Eye of the tiger’ turning into ‘Das Boot’ (ALARM), Even somehow manages to keep walking, doesn’t fall over or break his momentum. Just acts calm and collect, although he’s anything but, sits down, puts on his sunglasses so he can watch Isak look at him.

Adrenalin is pumping through his veins and there’s a roar of ‘Fuck Shit Look cool Look cool Fuck Look COOL’ going through his head. He’s out of breath, can’t listen to a word his friends are saying, but he stays. Tries to look unaffected and even thinks he succeeds.

He spends the rest of the day replaying Isak’s glazed expression and the way he seemed to shake himself out of it to rejoin the conversation with the kosegruppa leader.

Yeah.

There’s definitely something there. Or there could be.

Now Even just has to find out what he wants to do about it.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this little insight into Even's mind! It was fun to write. :)
> 
> It's raining cats and dogs here and since comments and kudos make my day brighter, well... you know. xD
> 
> The original post for this fic can be found [here](https://nofeartina.tumblr.com/post/185884050939/another-prompt-idea-first-clip-of-3-06-what-was). I'm [nofeartina](https://nofeartina.tumblr.com/) on tumblr, come play! :)


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